Men are confusing. I had a date this week – first one in a good long while and I was pretty excited and nervous by equal measure. New Dress, hair done (was a disaster and spend hours correcting it – lesson learnt never try to make drastic changes so close to a important event – a bit like trialing a new menu at a dinner party – just don’t do it.
Anyway, within minutes of meeting at the agreed place for lunch (56 miles from home – so time and travel were involved – I guess you can now sense I am completely regretting the effort I went to?) said male shares ‘I am still seeing my ex, well she’s not my ex actually…’ and so on. Great – so how did this man find himself signed up to a dating site and stating that he was single, had experienced some losses, but single. I just do not understand the psyche that can tell such lies and not even show some shame. So he went on, ‘I’ve learnt to live without commitment’ and ‘I live in the moment’. Have ever such phrases been said by someone who is not selfish and arrogant? This man was certainly both. I think he had given himself permission to see what his options were. Need I say I made it pretty clear I was not an option. He had every opportunity in his regular emails to me to tell me up front that he was still involved in a relationship. Not a word of it from him. The common pitfalls of internet dating – lies, ex’s who are not ex’s and height and weight deceptions.
I am trying hard not to get disillusioned and bitter, but I do wonder whether there are any nice guys out there of certain of age, decent men who are kind, generous and thoughtful.
Oh and the icing on the cake – after 5 hours of listening to this delightful male telling me about his confusing romantic life and how there was love there for his girlfriend/ex-girlfriend – he then asked me to go halves on the bill…..at this point I smiled politely, wished him well, paid, and left. The date had turned into an agony aunt session. Actually on reflection this could hardly be called a date.
Part of me inevitably wonders if it is me – am I so horrid that men feel comfortable showing their worst elements? I am assured not by friends which is kind. I look OK, probably considered attractive I hope, and am bright, chatty and friendly, I can be a little serious at times (hence the blog) and though perpetually broke I have a reasonable and secure job. Plus kids and cats that are the big positives in my life. So WHY ME! Why do I get these dud dates? I must make time to blog some of the others, with the passing of time they have become quite funny to recall, though complete horrors at the time – I am sure they will ring many bells for readers who have had equally colourful dating lives around the age of 40.
Ah well, will leave it a bit before I dip another toe in the water. DIY is even preferable at the moment – now where is that Stanley knife?